me when astrology doesnt match my personality: this is liberal hippie trash and honestly, I am the one who decides what kind of person I am, not some con artist trying to make a quick buck
me when astrology matches my personality: this is honestly so scary, i can literally feel the planets aligning and I am one with the earth, moon and the stars *grabs handful of dirt for no reason*
humans are kinda cute we pass stories down generations to instill a sense of wonder in people we’ll never know and we have little bells on our houses to tell each other that we’ve arrived and we shiver when we get cold and we have an endless amount of curiosity and if the night sky is clear our first instinct is to look up at the stars and think about going on big adventures
I want to hug this post
i find my cosmic insignificance reassuring
the stars don’t fucking care who i am or what i do
i owe the universe nothing
i exist on my own terms
#when existentialism becomes comforting rather than horrifying
i find my cosmic insignificance reassuring
the stars don’t fucking care who i am or what i do
i owe the universe nothing
i exist on my own terms
#when existentialism becomes comforting rather than horrifying
so I just finished watching the girl king, a movie about christina, queen of sweden and honestly it had the most epic friendzoning in history no other man can compare
this dude like went to the front lines of war for his queen of sweden, like he legit went to the blood soaked battlefields, killed shit tons of catholics, and got her all the treasures she ever asked for, like 1000s of books, a stuffed lioness, lots of cool shit including this rare-ass bible allegedly written by the devil himself–the book she specifically said, u bring me this, im urs, that exact book
so he returns with all this shit, thinking in his nice guy™ mind that of course he’s earned her hand in marriage, of course she’ll be his wife now
nope, she refuses him, she doesn’t even show up to the victory celebration he threw for her
so then, years later, she goes to him + he’s all secluded in this snowy wasteland. he’s been living off the grid, in the wilds of nature, bathing in ice water, dousing himself in stoicism + tears. anyway, when she comes to him, she puts her hand on his and says “now is your time to show your love to me” and of course he’s tripping balls, he’s finally got the girl he earned, the girl he won
but guess what
she makes him her legal “son”–yes her SON, what other friendzoned loser out there can say that his intended made him HER SON? that’s a whole new category now, the SON ZONE–and gives him the throne and just fucking leaves him there in sweden and goes to rome to party it up at the vatican
also she was queer and fucked women and never wanted to marry a dude so - the sucker never stood a chance. at least he got a throne out of it.
follow @the-future-now
*starts packing my bags*
Byeeeeeeeeee
1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u
THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week.
when i was little i actually questioned why girls were supposed to cross their legs and when i was told “because boys will look up your skirt” i said “then tell boys not to look up our skirts” and my grandma got really angry with me but my uncle thought i was great and gave me a high five
ppl are so interested in aliens but how would they expect to learn about cultures from different planets/solar systems if they can’t even accept different cultures on ya own damn planet from your own damn species
the planets are out there in space. right now. raining glass and having hexagon shaped storms. exciting.
Do you think aliens know about us and are like “there’s a planet that rains a weird liquid substance and it’s covered in that substance. Exciting.”
if aliens are copying my text posts, i swear to god i will call my lawyer
